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Acid Reflux causes and Treatment

World Series of Coughing

World Series of Coughing


And we’re back! As always I’m Luke “Loud Voice” Taylor and I couldn’t be more excited to be here at: The World Series of Coughing Coughers from all over the world have gathered here at the historic, Nasonex Bee Battle Arena to showcase their sound. And with me in the booth is
a man that needs no introduction, Wyatt “No Lips” Fair>Thanks for the introduction Luke, for many years I was down there with the men and women of professional
coughing. But now to be here on the other side of the glass? There is no greater honor.>Well we’re glad to have you here, No Lips. One of the most celebrated, and
then disgraced, figures in coughing history.>Okay now Lukey I thought we, uh,
weren’t gonna talk about that okay..>Oh! And it looks like the last competitor of this year’s “Cough and Spin” is taking the field. David Brown is here today representing the Robitussin™ Corporation His coughing origin? A case of typhus he got from kissing a baby. Anything to watch for here Wyatt?>Well, Brown is your classic spin cougher
okay. Solid base, great breath control, on the verge of succumbing to his illness, but still able to prance around for the fans.>Luke: Agreed, and it looks like he’s
getting set. *whistle sound* *whistle sound*
and off he spins. and off he spins.>Wyatt: Now notice Brown’s form. The hunch of his back is restricting air flow into his lungs, making a louder and more piercing cough. It’s an advanced technique and excruciatingly painful. But, it looks like his hard work is.. ..paying off.>Luke: Wow, what a whirl. And while we wait for those scores from the judges Wyatt, why don’t you tell the folks at home why they should know the name Wyatt “No Lips” Fair>Well for many years I was sort of a king in the professional coughing world. I won eight World Series championships the most ever by a single competitor. But, it all started with that first clearing of the throat when I was four years old, the runt of my big dumb Catholic family. And I was always getting sick all the time with strept throat->And what a career it was! But it all paled in comparison to the career-ending accident that would change The World Series of Coughing forever.>Okay, um, Luke, my agent said we did not have to->Oh! And it looks like the scores are coming in hot! Luke: A 29.6! Not bad for the young cougher!>Wyatt: Yeah great work! Probably enough to get him access to a real doctor instead of just a doctor for dogs. Coming up next, we’ve got: “Battle Coughing” Also known as the boxing of coughing, because of the equivalent brain damage. Now let’s get back to that accident shall we?>Actually you know what um->Luke: The accident that made what
many have called, not a sport at all, but actually just rich people making poor
people dance and prance around while they’re sick,>I,>A worldwide phenomenon.>Let’s cut the camera I’m getting out of here We’ll reset- I’m done->Let’s roll that footage shall we?
>Turn off the camera! ~”The Entertainer” (Rag Time) plays~>Luke: Brutal stuff folks, but the viral
sensationalism that was “Man’s Lips Fly Off” found The World Series of Coughing
enough funding to keep it afloat when it was labeled a humanitarian crisis by the UN.>Shame on me, shame on Wyatt.>Hey, let’s suppress that stuff Wyatt and keep it going with another amazing event: “Couples Coughing” sponsored by Mucinex™ Cough Suppressants. sponsored by Mucinex™ Cough Suppressants.
>Wyatt: No! No more coughing! *cords unplug* I gave my entire life to the National
Coughing Association and was turned into a laughingstock! My whole life ruined because of “Man’s Lips Fly Off”! Did you know that those lips fell onto a kid?>Luke: Heh.>Wyatt: Well, the mother of that kid sued me. I lost everything! I lost my job! I lost my endorsements! I lost my wife! She.. died. because of the bronchitis that Big Pharma made me carry around for 10 million dollars and a “Bigger Sound”>Luke: *stammering* Well hey, uh, why don’t ya, uh, stop being such a sore “throat” loser, Wyatt. Hahahahaha Hahahahaha
>Wyatt: No! *cord unplugging sound* Because you know what? No matter how many kids I blinded with lip shrapnel, I was a star! and I still am. I might be a dumb, Catholic loser from Nowherez Brooklyn but I can cough! I can cough like the Archangel Gabriel coughs to make the wind! I’ll show you! I’ll show all you wealthy sickos
>Luke: Okay Wyatt let’s calm down>Wyatt: Who make us cough for sport
>Luke: *muttering*>I’ll show you what a real cough looks like! *inhale* *COUGH*>And live from New York it’s, Cougherday Night! ~SNL Theme plays~ ~SNL Theme plays~
>Announcer: It’s- ~SNL Theme plays~
Announcer: *coughing noises*

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