March 5, 2020
It’s not an offside, ref!
-What? -I want to tell you something.
-Wait till it ends. No, Cruz Azul will lose.
You know that. -It’s important, man.
-Tell me. Your breath stinks. -What?
-That’s it. Your breath stinks. Your breath is rotten,
like you used poop mouthwash. -Right now?
-Yes. And always. Always. Your mouth has always smelled
like an abandoned fishery. You know?
A full bus in the summer. A morgue with no energy. -I don’t feel anything.
-C’mon! You’re used to it. If your mouth was the groin
of a dead crook, it would smell better. Your saliva is like that liquid
that comes from organic trash. What if I brush my teeth? Only if you use
turpentine and thinner. You need professional help,
Beto. -A dentist?
-No… An exorcist. Why didn’t you tell me
before? Because every time I try,
I feel like my face will melt! I can talk facing forward
because I have sinusitis, but my eyes are burning. Does everyone know? I think they don’t
in Australia. We do this because we love you
and want to help you. -Goal!
-Goal! -What a goal!
-Celebrate in silence! -Fuck!
-Fuck off, man! That’s a bad move, man. -What a goal!
-Fuck! That’s bad, man.